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The Scriptures of the Flight Simmer
So in the beginning, it was CFS2, a 19" monitor and a Microsoft Sidewinder2 FF. Everything was hunky dory and I was glad.
A Prophet was born into the world and his name was Oleg, he strove mightily against the mundane and brought into creation a new discipline and this was called IL2 Sturmovich. Many men were bewitched and demanded more and more, until even the vast talent of Oleg was exhausted by this mortal greed. A Demigod called Ubisoft was displeased by this revelation and cast Oleg from heaven and back down to the good earth, along with his latest creation, Cliffs of Dover. Ubisoft decreed that Cliffs of Dover should go forth into the world but it was found that this good creation was crippled.
Darkness fell upon the world.
Then, the good angels saw the sadness in the hearts of men and created Team Fusion, who said let there be light, and there was light and it shone mightily around the flight models, bugs and terrain. Light shone in every corner of my man cave.
Then came the 53rd Bristol Blenheim hunters from Greece who rose from the earth in 109s to verily smite and rain great fire down on my backside..... and a 32" HDTV became necessary in order to spot these followers of the dreaded demon called tab 71 Radar and be able to righteously avoid them.
A messiah looked upon this small band of people, huddled in front of screens, thrusting at sticks, twisting grips and the pious disciples even wearing strange headgear with lights on their heads, all in an effort to hunt down those who followed a different coloured path, and this man who can be called Lucky thought that all these people deserved their own world to play in and from his bosom, he brought forth Oculus.
The righteous thought "I'm having some of that" and Oculus gave birth to a baby called Rift. The righteous were overjoyed and wilfully entered a series of trials and tribulations called the pre order list. This list was designed to test the worthiness of the righteous ones to own such a Rift by a series of events, designed to take the participants to the very edge of madness; unfortunately, many fell by the wayside and fell into the sinning ways of the Vive.
Armed with such a device as the mighty Rift, the devotee of this new bearer of light, soon found that TF was having trials and tribulations of its own and had not had the time to drink at the altar of VR and thus the devotees had to turn to another creed in order to practice VR, this creed hailing from the east and shall henceforth be called DCS A10C Warthog. This Warthog demanded the new pilgrims from the West to show their devotion to the righteous path by the reading of and memorising a 700 page holy book.
Rift is a hard taskmaster and demandeth much effort in the search for true enlightenment and those devoted to the path of VR, soon found that what the eye is seeing and what the hand is touching shall scream discordant thoughts into the mind of the follower of the way and the search was on for an ointment to soothe these troubled minds.... this ointment being called the Thrustmaster Warthog HOTAS.
This HOTAS was placed on the altar of the way and the troubled mind was eased a little, but Rift yet again demanded more of the disciple and denied the follower of the way a means of operating the rudder joyously and with great vigour. The follower of the way soon found the true path very hard to follow and verily mowed the grass on many occasions.
A passing sprite whispered into the ear of the devotee of the true path and said the way back to rapture was to buy the saitek proflite. This proflite entered the house of the follower of the way and brought with it a great evil. This evil been of a flippy floppy kind and caused much gnashing of teeth as application of the dark spirit called "toe brake" immediately cast the devotee of the way from the steadfast cement of the true path of righteousness and back into the grass. Repeated prayers to the twin Gods of Microsoft and Control Bindings failed to exorcise this spiteful spirit and despair followed.
A stranger from a foreign land who shall be called Milan, a carpenter by trade and also a follower of the path of righteousness was called forth and was given devine inspiration on the problem of the eradication of the dark one called saitek. He laboured many moons and by the sweat of his brow, forged a new weapon in the fight against the advocates of the imprecise and the disciples of the malfunction. This weapon was called " Crosswind" and it blew through the despair of the righteous like an ice cold beer in a desert.
Newly energised by this revelation, the righteous one soon discovered the landing gear handle as a way to pacify the one called Rift, and Rift being ever the fickle one, demanded this aircraft part be suitably modified in its own image.
And Rift demanded yet more of the devotee of the true path, in the way of instilling a new found interest in 3 axis simulator setups, but verily the follower of the path found that his wife possesses far more willpower than the Rift could ever hope for when she puts her foot down.
submitted by Tinkicker01