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A Half-Lifes Critique By a Pro Call of Duty Gamer (r/halflife)

Let me start by saying I have exquisite taste when it comes to gaming. So I played this Half-Lifes because it's so called "the best game ever created" BUT couldn't finish it because it's so bad. Why all the praise?? The audio quality sounds like it's coming from my HitClips, level design is blocky I feel like I'm in Minecraft which is a better game, story is basically written by 10 year old elementary students, and the graphics are ass...yeah talk about "best game ever created". The zombies are really stupid too. Where are their ExoSuits? Call of Duty invented the zombie creature years ago in World At War. They perfected their copyrighted enemy type in Advanced Warfare when they revolutionized the zombie by giving it an ExoSuit. Now that's what is talented character writing. Maybe take a cue, Valve? It is beyond me why anyone would prefer the Half-Lifes head lobster. Next, where are my supply drops? I played a couple hours and didn't receive not one loot crate... And another failure on Valve's part is not including emotes/taunts. How am I supposed to dab on those head lobsters? CoD knows how to appeal to us, the younger and more dominant market. At least Valve nodded to my generation by including a fidget spinner in the opening titles. (P.S. #ClassOf2022 we out here!!! LESGEDDIT). Would've been nice if they let us actually use the damn spinner while I was pulling my hair out on that long ass floating bus ride in the first level. Where is the steering wheel for that bus anyway? And how the hell is it just floating in the air without an ExoSuit? Lol stupid devs. At least Ghostemane Freeman gets an ExoSuit in the initial level. But why can't I customize the ugly orange Exo? In conclusion, Half-Lifes is an old game and I'd think that the graphics would have had a chance to develop and evolve by now. Black Ops 3 is still very young but it's graphics have fully developed in a short time span... I can't even wallrun, only walk and hop wtf kind of movement system is this? Overall I give Half-Lifes a 3/10. I can only hope Valve sees this and applies my feedback to the third game, giving us the gameplay we desire in a modern FPS.. I look forward to dabbing on those Exo Head-Lobsters while slicing them with my fidget shurikens. Oh and they obviously copied Lamar from GTA V for the tamed head lobster in HL2.
submitted by air_rice to copypasta

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PaLaS01
skeet src sell 500$
nicEEnEEtEEclipsEEhypEEapoEEclypsEEplox
My favorite part is when Griffith uses the crimson fidget spinner to sacrifice his friends and become a Memelord, then rapes Casca into submission through his sick dabs.
Fumaça Memes XD
are u legally high?
PaLaS0
wait, how did he aquire the crimson fidget printer? i thought it's only avalaiblle for licesawensed GTA San Andreas IIVIX user, jokes aside 500$ doesn't fit your minimum requirements? I can higher it a little bit, i don't have much tho, and i prefer if it would be fast, because i found this credit card on pastebin so please be fasterer because i want skeet source and i want to beat aimware because i want it really really bad, so please contact me on social media or in here as soon as possible. And give me a tutorial on how to drive a desk bpecause w a s d doesn't work for me is it a custom mod and it looks very cute on my bright side of the life, vape is hacked client for steam so please send me some 50$ wallet codes and i will give you my my, and another question for you fellow lesbian, and how does the fuck you read this it long? like stop vro i know you didn't thow so ye vro ur ez, i'll heevh ur aunt dude, you don't evne know who ia h am so syou should stop writing me back everytime i write sometiignd like this, i am very tired of writing this text so i will stop soon, perhaps not table but in the end nothing really matteras aobut this life and you are just masmking me depressed becuase i want wto have the license key to the insane new game called grand theft auto san andreas II4, i have alot of desparation in my mind so please don't make me anxciosuos again okay? I wanna be best friendfs, eat some mandarinas and be happy my vro, another request give me a hug or i will hug you to death by doing it very tight, i know you will like it, but maybe not, so ye, and don't you dare to ask me if i am a girl femail, antoher quesitonh for you why did you touch my leg? i know you really like this comment and you love me because you have tokld me before in private merssages of some social medai network, any idea why my minecraft client doesn't work? i press right click and it turns on this that, so yeah i don't understand and i need cooking help food, how much water doi n eed top ut it in cepelinai? and spirguciai, i really like grietine aswell so ye vro, please pass me your private details and your private profile and your private number and your private address so i can privately talk about private things that are going on my private mind, and maybe we can privately share those private made private privaty things that you think of and me together with you maybe can hang out, and have fun!?
Fumaça Memes XD
Jake Paul's response: How did he get the red prints? I think that's only for GTA San Andreas IIVIX users who are allowed 500 dollars fun does not meet your minimum requirements. I can not do this because I want to eliminate such information because I'm really not good, so contact me via social networks. And advice on using the table in the downtown hotel. The purse wallet and I give my and another question for you, a colleague of lesbians and how the hell you have been reading this for a long time? Will stop I know you are not that You will not know who is lusting me, so you have to stop writing to me every time I write, so I'm sorry for this, so I'll stop writing, maybe not just. But at the end of Andreas II4 I had so much despair in my head. So please do not worry me anymore? I want to be the best friend, eat some grapes and pay to ask my heroes, ask again to hug me or I'll hug you to death, do this close I know you will like But maybe not. You and do not listen, I asked if I was a girl. I know you like this comment and you love me for making me use private networks from any social network. Why my Minecraft client works? I click the right mouse button and fire up, that is, yes I do not understand, and I need help to cook, how much should I drink in Cepelinai? And Spirguciai I like grithin, so kids give your personal details and your private address to share personal and private things you think and I might go out and enjoy you!
PaLaS0
Hey look i don't like copy paste in the point of where to the hapyp eyneding. I ofonly offered 50)$ and i aks if he wants more ok? is it o k dud? vro my mom found 8 grathers secret in side a paet faulty appliance, and the gambling addiction adds to the 66 story time. I also asked for a hug because he is cute and funny and frinedly and privately socially cute funny. I'm pretty sure he didn't read any of this, but if he did it's really cool and i hope we can do this buisisness, he put a smile on my heart adn i don't evne know how to smile, so i 'm veryy happy that he did that, its' really nice of him!! i love being happy, and i know you do too!!!! please hang otu with me i m very desprerate and i am very anqxsocoious about htis whole situation that you put me in, i hope you can borrow a ship from someone called ap2, he is a really nice girl, she likes swim and eat food some, i still don't know hwot o cook because you n o respond to mey qestions in the comment section provided below the video that is being shwon. Look, all i ask is to take care of me, atalk to me more, and i will be happy asnd i wont'' so yeah i have 0 coins and i need help from you, please contact me somewhere i gave give you my social privately privated in the private privating account free of cost, i send you my paypal information because my paysafecard is not activated in the way of works so please talk to me more because i seriously need to food you eat macodnlads, let's drive to burger king and hang out for approximately 24 hours. After that we can go back home and maybe take a nap if you want, but i wont' sleep i ahve insomnia private, so please ok>? i really like you comedy very good i like i rate very good extremely lucky legend.How do you think how i feel when you say such words to me in such a manner? You know easy of life in light but it flyies aways very wastf. They really need to think about that people that don't learn something like that.. You know, be happy before you become sad and depressed because then it's really hard to enjoy life in such a life threateninggg position, you will need alot of attention, it will be like a drug to you. If your parents go to work you wont get much attention, you will get even more sad, and it will break your heart even more and even more, so be careful of the internet and all the social media that you think of, literally they can ruin your life so bad that you wont be able to do anything..
nicEEnEEtEEclipsEEhypEEapoEEclypsEEplox
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Fumaça Memes XD
yo are u high on sum drugs or what? tf is wrong with u men
nicEEnEEtEEclipsEEhypEEapoEEclypsEEplox
Yesno
PaLaS0
send me steam and we can talk about the offer i gave you.
nicEEnEEtEEclipsEEhypEEapoEEclypsEEplox
Nah man, bitcoin only: 1LjA1VPCqG7EPRH2PqEKfPeDDKEfRJwbjJ
PaLaS0
ok
nicEEnEEtEEclipsEEhypEEapoEEclypsEEplox
That's my empty account tho, if you want to verify that your money is reaching the right person, check and/or send to 1MRbHsrYjnikYMgWoYmmi8MD4M76Do63Lm first
PaLaS0
will it include gta sa 2 source code?
nicEEnEEtEEclipsEEhypEEapoEEclypsEEplox
Definitely; we'd like our playerbase to be able to mod the shit out of it. Even hack the engine and be able to access private player info from the game's database. That's how you get blacklisted btw, but it's worth it: you might be able to score some chick's address and consequently her unsuspecting pussy. Very SA-esque. Reply
PaLaS0
Interesting, I do understand some bits of C++ and i think i could exploit the system. Does it have network hooks aswell?
nicEEnEEtEEclipsEEhypEEapoEEclypsEEplox
Depending on your knowledge, you might be able to do that. ANYWAY PAY UP OR LEAVE, YOU CUNTFORM
submitted by protoskullds to FuckTheUniverseAndGod