Original post here
I got a much bigger response on my original post than I ever thought I would. A couple hours after I posted it, I realized I left a lot of information out and wanted to clarify some things, as well as provide an update on the situation.
Some people asked if I pay rent or own the house. It's my parents house, and I don't pay rent. I can't afford to move out right now, and my parents don't want to let me move out until after my first year of uni.
Some people also asked if I'm autistic. I have ADHD, which shares a lot of traits with autism. I stick to a strict routine because it's the only way I'm able to remember to do everything I need to in the morning.
A lot of people suggested packing my lunch at a different time, or even the night before. I had tried this before; no matter what time I went into the kitchen, my mom followed. I tried it again a couple times since making the post, and she continued to follow me.
I took the advice of some people who told me to try going into the kitchen as usual, but to leave when my mom got in my way and tell her I'd wait until she was finished. I even made sure the kitchen was spotless the night before. Dishwasher emptied, no dishes in the sink, counters wiped down, and trash emptied. She followed me in, and when I said I'd wait, she said she was done. Almost as soon as I went back in, she followed me in again and claimed she had forgotten to do something.
A lot of people pointed out that she might just want to spend time with me, which I hadn't thought of before. I think that maybe me getting a job, finishing high school, and starting to work towards getting my driver's license made her realize I'm growing up and won't be dependent on heliving at home for much longer. Maybe she just wants to spend as much time with me as she can before I go, or maybe she doesn't feel as "Mom" as she did before.
What finally worked was, after dinner a couple nights ago, asking her to pack some leftovers from dinner in a separate container for me to take for lunch the next day. She seemed really happy that I asked, and didn't follow me into the kitchen the next morning. She even left a sticky note with a smiley face on top of the container! I also asked if she could drive me to work, which gave us the chance to chat and catch up in the car.
I think she just missed feeling like I need her, which I always will. Even though we butt heads sometimes, she'll always be my mom, and I think I just needed to find a way to remind her of that.
I wrote my original post feeling super frustrated at my mom, but I teared up a bit finishing this update. Sending a massive thank you to all the kind people who commented and helped me work this out :)